Codependency Therapy

Do You Think You Might Be In A Codependent Relationship?

Is a loved one of yours struggling with addiction or another serious mental health issue? Do you find yourself investing all your time and energy into making sure they’re okay? Are you tired of trying to rescue them from poor life choices?

Maybe you feel like you can’t trust your loved one to be alone, so you force yourself to be with them as much as possible. If they struggle with substance abuse, you might go to great lengths to keep their addiction a secret from the rest of the family. Because of how hard you work to provide for their needs, you may feel like you have no room for self-care in your life.

Codependency Can Lead To A Loss Of Identity And A Blurring Of Boundaries

When you’re in a codependent relationship, it’s easy to feel like your entire identity is consumed by your partner or loved one. Boundaries may be nonexistent and you might dismiss your own needs for the sake of the other person. After a while, it might feel like you don’t even have needs—it’s like you exist to please your loved one and have no life apart from them.

If you think you might be in a codependent relationship, I encourage you to pursue counseling with me. My goal is to help you set boundaries, learn to prioritize self-care, and bring a healthier sense of balance into your relationship.

Unstable Childhood Relationships Are Often The Main Cause Of Codependency

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Codependency often begins in early childhood. Young children don’t have the life experience or cognitive abilities to understand that certain relationships aren’t healthy. If their parents are manipulative, demanding, or narcissistic, they will perceive such behavior as normal. They aren’t able to discern that their parents can’t provide a secure attachment.

In this way, people who struggle with codependency usually grew up with unstable relationships. And sadly, they often carry their codependent mindset into their adult life—constantly sacrificing their needs for others and getting into relationships with controlling and demanding people. Many of them feel like they don’t even deserve healthy relationships.

Counseling gives you a chance to unlearn codependent behavior and find ways to implement self-care into your life. After all, it is easiest to show up for other people when you’re willing to show up for yourself as well.

Therapy Can Help You Set Healthy Boundaries And Overcome Codependency

When you come to codependency therapy, part of you might think: If I stop trying to please my loved one all the time, they won’t love me or respect me as much. I’m here to tell you that this is usually not the case. Learning to stand up for yourself and advocate for your needs is an essential part of any healthy relationship. I want to help you get to know yourself and your needs on a deeper level so that it is easier to break out of a codependent mindset.

I offer counseling for both individuals and couples involved in any kind of codependent relationship. You can be the parent of a child with a drug addiction, the spouse of someone with a severe mental illness, or anyone else struggling to help out a loved one. I keep the treatment plan flexible for whoever I’m working with.

What To Expect In Sessions

Together, you and I can explore what makes a relationship healthy and the reasons that your codependent relationship isn’t working. We will work on setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and acknowledging your feelings rather than dismissing them. The goal is not to put distance between you and your loved one, but to help you create a relationship where both of you are equally valued and respected. Sometimes, this means saying no instead of giving in to your loved one’s wishes.

After all, loving someone else does not mean disrespecting yourself. This is one of the central themes of codependency therapy. While it’s important to have people in your life that you care deeply about, it’s unhealthy when your identity hinges on another person’s needs. Through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), I can help you identify the automatic thoughts that cause you to think you’re not as important as someone else (such as “I don’t deserve to have my needs met”). In this way, CBT can help you pinpoint the negative beliefs at the root of codependency.

As long as you are willing to put in the work, recovery from codependency is possible. With my help and support, I am confident that you can find a sense of identity that is not tied to the needs of another person and enjoy more fulfilling relationships.

You May Have Some Concerns About Codependency Therapy…

I’m afraid my partner will be mad at me if I establish boundaries.

Boundaries are good for any relationship. Establishing boundaries is simply a way of acknowledging that you have needs just like your partner and you are your own separate person. One of the best things you can do is point out the ways your partner’s behavior may be pushing up against your boundaries. For instance, do they frequently ask you for money, call you in the middle of the night, or ask you to perform certain tasks for them? As a codependency therapist, it’s my role to help you dialogue about these issues in a constructive way with your partner.

I’m worried I’ll never find anyone who loves me if I stop being codependent.

Codependency is often a sign of low self-esteem. So by working on your self-esteem, you can reduce your need to identify so closely with others. Counseling can help you get in touch with your true identity so that you don’t have to rely on someone else for it. Together, you and I can explore your likes and dislikes, the values you hold dear, and the things that make you feel confident in yourself. Once your self-esteem improves, you may find that it’s easier to find someone who loves you for who you are.

What if I’m the only person that my loved one can turn to?

If your loved one doesn’t have a big support group, then this is a totally legitimate concern. At the same time, one person is not capable of “saving” them. You are not responsible for rescuing someone else from their poor life choices. Codependency counseling can help you strike a balance between caring for your loved one and still having time for yourself.

You Deserve To Have Relationships That Meet Your Needs

If you want to see a therapist specializing in codependency, I encourage you to connect with me. To get started, you can use the contact page or call 716-300-1977 to schedule a free phone consultation.